I've been in this rut lately where I forget to take time for myself. Whenever I'm alone I forget to do something that will better me, or something that I enjoy to do + that will make me feel good. As I think about it, I feel like that is something people shouldn't really forget about, but I've been so focused on everything else that I've forgotten do to what I enjoy.
Last night I was journaling about how I want to be better + strive for happiness. Well, as I was writing I started realizing that the time I spend by myself is the time I can't stand lately. When I'm alone I feel empty + like everything is falling apart. I used to love being alone + reading in my room with no one around, but lately my mind has been in such a funk that I can't stand to be alone. As I was writing to myself last night, I wrote about all the things I can do when I am alone + learn to enjoy that time again.
I truly think that the times we spend by ourselves are the moments that build us up to be better for other people. We can only be better to/for other people if we are kind to ourselves + strive to be the best for ourselves. I have this constant thought that tells me "it's so selfish to put yourself first" well, I'm going to kill that thought + tell it "hey guess what, you're only being selfish by taking away others' happiness because you can't find your own!" Happiness starts from within. Happiness is rooted from the heart + sometimes we need to take time for ourselves to find out what our hearts truly want. And sometimes, all our hearts want is a little rest; maybe our hearts just want to take a break.
One thing that instantly makes me feel better is creating a list of things that used to make me happy + things that still make me happy. I created a list of things to do when you're alone. I want to stop bringing myself down! It is so unfair to me + even more unfair to the people around me. I am not a person who enjoys to frown, I am a smiler. I love to laugh + sometimes I get these moments when I feel so empowered + all I can do is smile + that makes me feel so stinking good.
I know, it's easier to call all your close friends until someone finally answers + you just talk until you fall asleep or until it's time for your other plans (trust me, I know because I do this too often), but just because it's easy doesn't mean you should do it. It's amazing to have people who truly love + care about you, but they can only listen to your problems, they can't fix you. Only you can fix you + only I can fix me. Don't get me wrong, it is a true blessing + so awesome to have an amazing support system, but you have to work on yourself + not expect someone else to work on you.
It starts with YOU. This has taken me a looooong time to realize. It is so simple to say but when you really come to understand that it starts with you, everything changes. So, even though you could call one of your dearest friends when you don't want to be alone, maybe you should take sometime for yourself + learn to enjoy yourself, too. Here is a little list I created of things to do with your alone time + how to spend your time by yourself in a positive way (I hope this little list helps if you're struggling with your alone time too).
the feel good list:
draw/paint. Even though you might think "I can't draw or paint. I'm not creative." I'm telling you, it doesn't matter! You're doing this for YOU + you have to remember that. Just get creative in whatever way helps you feel good + if being creative stresses you out, the feel good list goes on + on, there will be something for you.
read a good book/write your own good book. I love reading (I loooove it!!!) but lately I haven't read anything. When I think about reading I get really happy. Reading is a way to clear your mind from your problems/worries + just focus on the story in your hands. If you have a mind that doesn't stop + you always come up with little stories in your mind then you should write them down! Writing is awesome + just remember, you don't have to show anyone else, it's all for you.
go for a walk or run. Get outside + enjoy the fresh air! I don't know about you but I don't like to go to the gym to run on a treadmill. If you're already feeling stuck in your mind, it's not fun to feel stuck when you're running or walking either.
do some yoga. If you're not someone who enjoys going for a run or going on a walk maybe you could try some yoga. There are plenty of yoga videos on youtube that will help you appreciate working out at home. Also, yoga classes are calming + you don't need to push yourself too far.
make a playlist. I love making playlists! Spotify is my virtual home + I've probably made far too many playlist (oops). I think music has a big affect on us + it's important to listen to music that will lift your mood rather than crush it. If you're looking for some music to ease your spirit, make a playlist! If you want some tunes to make you smile, check out my little happy playlist.
have a one (wo)man dance party. This one has the potential to be my favorite activity to do alone. Even if you can't dance it doesn't matter because you're the only one there + no one else is watching. So, shake your booty + dance it out because I guaranty you won't be able to feel unhappy after you dance your heart out.
take a bath. Light some candles + turn the lights off + grab a pint of ice cream + turn on a movie (or grab a beer/glass of wine + a good book, whatever floats your boat) + just relax. Take a breath + stop thinking about every little thing you can't control. Just spoil yourself + be okay with it.
go through your closet. Going through your closet + getting rid of clothes you haven't wore in forever will be so refreshing. Clearing out your closet might help you clear out your mind as well.
watch a movie. It's always good to watch a movie + have a good laugh, or a good cry (I'm all game for a good cry)! There is a difference between watching one movie + watching a whole season of the newest Netflix original. Don't get sucked into a series on Netflix, Hulu, or anywhere, because you will not be able to come out of it + you might end up beating yourself up about doing nothing with your day.
get out of the house + treat yourself. If I'm not at home you can surely find me in a coffee shop. I think getting out of the house is very important! Being at home is nice + there are so many things to do there, but I think there are moments when we just feel dull being at home. Getting out + going somewhere for yourself + by yourself can really help you enjoy your alone time. I love going to the movie theater or art museum by myself (how corny, I know) i also enjoying sitting at a coffee shop + reading.
look in the mirror + give yourself some confidence. This one might feel awkward at first, but just remember, hearing something positive from yourself will boost your mood. You can take on any challenge when you feel more powerful, so give yourself the power + don't wait for someone else to give it to you! You got this, you beautiful, unique, stylish human being.
create a dream/goal list. I find it helpful to write down my dreams + goals, just to stay in touch with them. As we grow + change, our dreams + goals grow with us. I think it is important to write a list of things to work/improve on. There are so many moments when we come to a standstill because we feel like we have too much on our plates. But when you write down what you want to work on, the list might not seem so long + it will help you stay focused on one thing at a time.
- challenge yourself. Sometimes when I am alone I just feel really low (obviously that is why this list has been created). But I find that when I decide to challenge my negative feelings + thoughts, there is a brighter outcome + it feels amazing! I think the action of doing one small thing, when you feel like doing nothing, is a challenge in itself. I have created this little blog as a way of challenging myself. Honestly, when I write I feel good + I really enjoy this whole feel good thing I have thriving inside of me when I write. So, maybe start a blog or start baking! Really anything that challenges you in positive way will do.
There are so many things to do with your alone time, + these are just a few. I hope this little list will help you with the way you spend your time alone. Just remember, the time you spend by yourself will restore you so you will be able to flourish in other relationships.
Cheers + xx, Maddy